Laugh Loud Laugh Often! Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile...
Laugh Loud Laugh Often Volume One
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Laugh Loud Laugh Often Volume Two
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Laugh Loud Laugh Often Volume Three
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Three Hilarious Joke Books Save when you buy all 3

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Laugh Loud Laugh Often! Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile




The Only Joke Books You’ll Ever Need!

Hilarious Jokes for any occasion:

  • Pub Jokes
  • Party Jokes
  • Birthday Jokes
  • Jokes about life
  • Jokes about husbands
  • Jokes about wives
  • Jokes about kids
  • Jokes about Grandparents
  • Pet jokes
  • Teacher Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Dating Jokes
  • Funny Signs
  • Sporting jokes
  • Bowling Jokes
  • Cooking Jokes
  • Food Jokes
  • Computer Jokes
  • Internet Jokes
  • Friendship Jokes
  • Wedding jokes
  • Marriage Jokes
  • Religious Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Baby Jokes
  • Golf Jokes
  • Fart Jokes
  • Anecdotes
  • Good old fashioned advice

Plus roasts and toasts, tips on telling jokes, and much, much more.
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About the Author

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Peter Gibson:  Born in Dubbo New South Wales Australia in 1956 a 6th generation Australian, being from England convict blood. He is one of 5 children, a twin brother of Paul, older twins Mark and Maree and a younger sister Karen. His Parents had all children in under 3 years.

Laugh-Loud-Lagh-Often-spruce-02Peter Grew up on the land, on a property known as "Lucerne Vale" located 12 kilometers from Dubbo. It's now a thoroughbred horse stud. Peter was schooled at De LaSalle college in Dubbo and upon leaving school completed a carpentry and joinery apprenticeship.

Peter and his wife of 36 years, Norah, have 3 sons, Christopher, Matthew and Peter Jr and 5 grand children. Upon the death of his younger sister (Karen) Peter and his family left Dubbo and began a somewhat nomad lifestyle. They lived in 3 states of Australia and have moved house no less than 28 times.Peter has been involved predominately in management roles for most of his life, including in the building industry, caravan parks, motels, thoroughbred horse studs and cattle studs.

These books are Peter's first books - he has been keeping diary notes on jokes for over 30 years - these books are part of his collection from that diary.

"Laughing is good exercise, It's like jogging on the inside only a lot funnier."



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Remember no one is listening until you fart.

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Just for a tease A small selection of jokes & content from the books!

Just for a tease

A Trip to Rome

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded:

"Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental" was the reply "we got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser.... "that's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich" laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful" explained the woman "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodelling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too were overbooked, so they apologised and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who the f… did your hair?"

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: Its triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
–– º ––
Good: Your wife’s not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She’s a lawyer.
–– º ––
Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.
–– º ––
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You’re in them.
–– º ––
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.
–– º ––
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
–– º ––
Good: You give the “birds and bees” talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.
–– º ––
Good: The postman’s early.
Bad: He’s wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
–– º ––
Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It’s another man.
Ugly: He’s your best friend.
–– º ––
Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.
* * *

Scottish Jew wants to join a Golf Club

An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up Golf.  So he puts his name down at the local club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down. So he goes down to the club to enquire why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?

Scot: Aye but I am as Scottish as you are Jock.

Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.

Scot: Aye, so do I.

Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?

Scot: Aye, neither do I.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scot: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So you are circumcised?

Scot: Aye, I be that too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.

Scot: Ach, away with ya man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen.

And I know that you have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint Columbus.

But this is the first time I heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.

Put the cat out

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet budgie and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scooted back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife went on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon, saying 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'

The silence in the cab was deafening.

For the Golfers out there

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt, for a 10.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

It's not a gimme if you're still 5 feet away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; I.e., back-swing 20 mph , handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel. Keep this in mind

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are....that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart, if you are performing brain surgery !!!! 

Lunch for Jesus

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "and do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused. One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down 'why'?

The worker yelled back, "Cos his wife's here with his lunch"

Answered prayers

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Suzy Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise report. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bike accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now." she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held their breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

Comfortable

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.  In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'

Holy in one

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf. Moses pulled
up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway,
but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly, Moses raised
his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side of the
hazard, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one,
directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the
centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus
casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the
green.

The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed
out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street.

It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree, from there
it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down
into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and
straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the
pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto
a lily pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog
jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth.
Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew
away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright
and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup for a
hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, “I hate playing with
your Dad.”

* * *

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